At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize