There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You need a sexual gate keeper
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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