giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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