Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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