Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
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I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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