So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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