Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize