How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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