"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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