One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize