Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize