I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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