Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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