Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize