Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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