My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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