dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Found your dick twin last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize