my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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