What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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