problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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