Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize