They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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