today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
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I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
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I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the raccoons are back...
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