It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize