I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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