This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
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my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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