She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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