I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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