Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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