So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize