hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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