dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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