I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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