You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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