its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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