I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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