Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize