Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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