watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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