Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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