proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
And then he peed in my hair
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