so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize