oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hippo gnu deer
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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