a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize