im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize