I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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