i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize