make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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