We're facebook friends in real life
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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