I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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